A Proper Retelling

The following is a fine piece of literature, based on fact, composed by legendary delaware filmmaker C.J. Stunkard. Republished with permission from www.ctothej.blogspot.com


Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Waffling with Waffles


Jason Estock's legendary battle with the great Double-of-Waffle


In weeks since past, in a town away, the heat of summer worn on the shoulders of travelers six. Wedding guests, they were, or so the legend goes, and after a day celebrating the matrimony of a Bishop's daughter and her Englishman, the sojourning companions sought respite in shoppes of yore. The purchasing being nill to none, the group was taken with boredom, and merriment of another sort was needed. Behold, therewith they saw a hill, and on it House of Waffles stood--rich with both swine and maidens to impress.

After many words and minds, the compnay went to the house called Waffle and best themselves into a fray of feasting. The serving lass to the table came and bid "good day" to the travelers six. In booth the first were a couple near to wed, a pair no man could chide in truth. Near to them, in booth second sat, a second set of lovers, too, a pair of gems in the crowns of man. Then across from them, nearest to the window our tale's fiend and to his right, Hero, who is now called King, once called Copperhead, twice called, Flex.

That one, known as Jorbson, also called Asher (or "Jason" in the tongues of men, and of angels) took to the challenge of a daunty task of two waffles to the mouth for under three crowns.
"Ah yes," his companions encouraged him, "Take that thy choice, but be not faint, nor ill in virtue. Finish the meal or order it not." To which Jorbson accepted the challenge.

And so in haste came the serving lass, bearing portions full for travelers each. Jorbson, who is known by the sea as "Goomba", took to the waffle no fear bearing, and on the doubled serving set a hearty helping of syrup thick. Then with tools for dining true, Jorbson sliced the double into parts, sized to his liking to partake. And he began to eat it thus, shoveling forth from to plate to mouth his choice of food. Yet as time passed, he then grew faint and weary at the waffle's strength.

"I have thus ended." sayeth Jorb with a resting of his fork from hand.
"Nonetheless, you must complete the task before you set this night.", said Ware, the fiend--who is the Cee. "You must eat it all, to the last."
"But should I to do what you have asked, I would to hate the waffle that I now do love, for it would sicken me from tongue to tail, and I shall not enjoy another like it, not for days or months perhaps."
"YOU MUST FINISH" quoth the foe. "For no rest shall meet this tongue of mine, nor throat besides, for both shall I employ as weapons fit to feign thy mind and spirit. Complete the task or feel the venom, vile as vipers and full of spite. "

With this our hero, Jorbson as he is called, retook to task, sent fork to plate, took Waffle up and ate it thus, pieces large at first then small----each pause between growing in length.

"Surely you will finish now," Quoth the fiend, known as Carlos (or Jean to some). "Can you be so weak, as to be undone by waffles two? 'Boo!' They shall say each man as you pass him, when they hear you were so frail. Waiver not in dispositoin, do the deed, done dirty-cheap and send my mocking to the gallows."

The great Copperhead, Jason was his name, then continued his quest, once more brandishing the silver, for to break the jeers of fiends. With two remaining bites to bear, and little left of stomach open--the great Jorb halted once again, and sent into his hand his brow, chewing with fervor to complete a task so great as to be legend.

"Are you not yet finished? Has time not looked on you enough? Are not nations built in fewer moons than thou hast spent to play with spoons? Linger on! Linger on! Linger on, poor man; for all that you had hoped to be--valiant strong!!--rests with this dish."

Thus surely Jorb, his pain so great, another bite took to his teeth then paused. . .

"Doth thou not want lordship?", cried the foe.
"I do" cried Jorbson fearing death.
"Then finish thee this bite the last, become the King, The KING I SAY, THE KING of WAFFLES, KING!!!! THE KING!!!!!!"


Then without halted breath went Jorb unto his fork then to the plate,
And with a mighty downward stab attacked a waffle to partkae,
And to it did he lean his head and set his mind on his success.
He took it in!!! The Last Bite's gone!! And now he runs to rooms of Rest!!!


No man knows, lest the king himself, what happened in the room marked, "Men", in the house of Waffle on man-made hill. When he returned to his enemy, Jorbson found art bearing that he was the King, and no more jeers but cheers of praise he felt in his ears ring. "Well Done," said Ware, "You prove too true, but 'fore you judge me wrong. Who was it that helped you hold fast through mocking ever-long? Was it not I, the one who bore the task to exhort thee? I am friend, my dear Jorbson, and You now are the King!!!!!!!


Hence, Jorbson will be known here now and throughout all days until the day which men forget as KING WAFFLE!!! Say his name! KING WAFFLE !! KING WAFFLE!!! KING WAFFLE!!!! (who is called Asher).